What Do I Actually Want From a Relationship?
A good relationship on paper is one thing. Knowing what feels right for you is another. Think about what you want now—whether you are dating, partnered or happily doing your own thing. Optional questions can be skipped. Higher scores mean you feel clearer, not that your relationship is better. This is a reflection tool, not a clinical test; its bands are conversation starters, not tested cutoffs. If you feel afraid or controlled, seek individual support; you do not have to raise concerns in an unsafe situation.
Have I Been Here Before?
New person, familiar feeling? Explore the reruns—and the good habits—in your relationships. Use an example you are comfortable thinking about; another close relationship is fine too. Optional questions can be skipped. Higher scores mean greater awareness, not fewer problems. This is a reflection tool with illustrative bands, not a diagnosis or relationship verdict. Someone else’s harmful behaviour is not your responsibility.
Something Feels Off in This Relationship?
Take a moment to think about someone you are dating or getting to know. These eight questions can help you put your finger on what feels right and what feels unsettled. This is a conversation starter, not a relationship verdict. A higher score means you feel clearer, not that the relationship is better. If you feel afraid or controlled, seek individual support whatever your score.
Is There Room for Both of Us?
Do your needs get a look-in, as well as theirs? Think about everyday things like time together, plans or sharing tasks. You can use a current relationship, a past one or an imagined example. Optional questions can be skipped. Scores show how clear you feel, not how healthy your relationship is; the result bands are conversation starters, not tested cutoffs. You do not have to give in or discuss anything that feels unsafe.
Big Feelings. What Now?
A late reply. A changed plan. A conversation that gets under your skin. Explore what you notice and what you could do next. Use an everyday example from recent weeks, or a past or imagined one; imagined answers describe expectations. Optional questions can be skipped. Higher scores mean clearer awareness of feelings and options—not calmer emotions. This is a reflection tool with illustrative bands, not a clinical test. You do not have to bottle things up, tolerate harm or delay protecting yourself. Someone else’s harmful behaviour remains their responsibility.
How Does This Relationship Feel for Me?
Time for a relationship check-in. Think about one relationship over recent weeks or months, or a past one you feel comfortable revisiting. No relevant example? You can reflect on what you would want, but that cannot assess a relationship. Optional questions can be skipped. Only continue if it feels safe and private; device privacy is not guaranteed. Higher scores mean clearer understanding—not a healthier or safer relationship. This is a reflection tool, not a clinical test or abuse screening tool; its bands are illustrative. Good moments do not cancel threats, control, violence or unwanted sexual contact. You can seek individual support without finishing this survey, confronting anyone or deciding whether to leave.
The Same Fight, Different Tuesday
Different day. Same argument? Think about a recent everyday disagreement—not your worst fight. Answer for yourself; your partner can take it separately. This is a conversation starter, not a diagnosis or a blame score. Higher scores mean more reported friction; the bands are illustrative. If disagreements involve fear, threats, control or violence, seek individual specialist support rather than using this as a joint exercise.
Are We Roommates or a Couple?
You share a home, a calendar, maybe even a streaming password. But do you still feel close? Think about the past month and answer for yourself. Busy seasons happen; this is a conversation starter, not a relationship verdict. Higher scores mean more reported distance, using illustrative bands. If you feel afraid, controlled or harmed, seek individual support rather than using this as a joint exercise.
What Did You Hear Me Say?
“Fine.” “Do whatever you want.” “We need to talk.” Small phrases can carry big meanings—but are you both hearing the same thing? Think about recent everyday conversations and answer for yourself. Higher scores mean more reported room for misunderstanding, not that your interpretation is wrong. This is a conversation starter with illustrative bands, not a test of your partner’s intentions. If you feel afraid, controlled or harmed, seek individual support rather than using this as a joint exercise.
Who’s Carrying the Invisible Backpack?
The task is only part of the job. Someone also remembers it, plans it and checks it happened. Think about the past month and answer for yourself. This is about the load you carry and how supported you feel—not a contest over who does more. Higher scores mean more reported strain or gaps in support, using illustrative bands. Different arrangements can work when they are freely chosen and revisited. If you feel afraid or controlled, seek individual support rather than using this as a joint exercise.
Your Ideal Sunday vs. Mine
One of you wants a slow breakfast. The other has already planned a hike, lunch and a supermarket run. Sound familiar? Think about recent weekends and answer for yourself. Your preferences are not scored as better or worse; higher scores reflect more reported difficulty making room for both people. These illustrative results are conversation starters, not compatibility verdicts. Optional questions can be skipped. If choosing freely feels unsafe, seek individual support rather than using this as a joint exercise.
